Flipping her hand over she brushed up along her finger to the nail. Looking at it, pulling at it a bit so that her finger raised with it a bit. Inhaling deeply her shoulders rose and then fell as she exhaled slowly between her lips. Closing her eyes, even the one Shokomaru didn't see, she fought something back.

"I," her voice was quieter, softer continuing on she held this single tone as she spoke with less variation than normal. "When I was younger.. just a few years. My friends and I had some time at the end of the day, after our respective schooling. You see, we had this little waterfall in our city, down on the south side where we all lived. It had a beautiful view of the rolling plains to the south, and we'd hang out there. We'd bring towels, and drinks, and food and.. we'd just talk some days. Other days, we'd swim in the water below it," she reached up, adjusting her eye-patch a little.

"It was one of those days where we were hanging out.. I- I remember that much," her voice got shakier, with a small cough she inhaled and exhaled again. "They said I'd taken a nasty fall, and there wasn't any shugenja around that could.. well, be spared to heal someone like me who wasn't in dire need. Beyond the eye," she brushed the top of her cheek. "It was one night.. a mistake, a day I can barely even remember," she caught whatever else she was going to say in her throat.

Suddenly the world felt like it was warming up, she splayed out her hands over and down her thigh till she hit her knee and held it there. Rocking her legs up and down gently. Sliding forward she stood and paced a few steps forward, catching a breath. Bringing her arms in tight high on her frame as they crossed over her chest. Only for a moment as she put them back down and started fiddling with her right index with her right thumb as she glanced slowly around the garden.

Turning around she looked to Shokomaru, but not quite at him. Just below his eyes, "W-would it be alright if I left, Daigotsu-sama?" she asked, her voice sounded strained, panicked a little but held into place. Without much pause she added, "Please?"

Well, he asked. She only knew a little bit, or would only say so much. When she told him he felt small, but pushed his courage forward, he wouldn't feel regret for asking.

"Doji-san", he started to answer, but it caught within him again. He stood up and looked down, away. Then he bit his lip to force himself on, set his jaw and looked back at her. She wasn't looking at him, but he could try for her, at least.

"Thank you, that didn't sound easy, you're... really brave. And so, if it's what you want, you should go...just know that, I wanted to talk to you, even if we both hurt from it, that's part of who we are. I..", he stopped. Shook his head. "I'm sorry, I was about to say a lot of other silly things, I didn't want to cause you hurt, but I've been careless, thoughtless."

Was there really nothing he could do? Instinct demanded action, but he was not truly that man despite whatever swagger he put on.

Without looking up she bowed deeply, "Thank you, Daigotsu-sama," she held her purse tightly. Looking down, she could still watch for the movement of his torso. Waiting for the return she pushed down hard on her index finger, burying it into her palm so much so that the nail scratched her a little.

He bowed in return and held it. If he watched her walk away, he'd only try to stop her.

When she saw it, she exhaled a little. Collecting herself she walked at first, calm and collected in every regard. Yet when she got far enough away it sped up a bit, a fast walk, enough not to look like she was in distress but in a rush.

In which she was, she as she shifted the eye-patch up a little. Brushing at her cheeks as she made her way out of the garden.

[/scene?]

SHokomaru slumped down on the bench and finished his drink. It wasn't his problem, his hardship, yet he couldn't help feeling what he was feeling.

He'd wanted to call a ride for her, he didn't want her to have to walk back to the inn like that, but he knew she was about to explode any moment. How could he force her to stay still when she needed to run?

"Fuck."

He smoked in the garden, fuck'm if they try to kick him out.

(/scene)