As she spoke he chewed, and chewed, and chewed. Some comments and pauses of hers got him to stop and nod slightly, at one point he chuckled. When she finally had said enough he put his chopsticks down and faced her.
"Well, I'll address this in order, but it seems like its all somewhat connected", he took out his.smokes and lot one, reflex. Though he didn't put it out and pulled the ashtray on the table closer and made sure not to blow any her way. "As for comfort, well...there is something very easy and sweet about your manner, whether it's the famous Doji training or you yourself being a good girl, I'd love to do more than guess. For a little I thought you were too deferent, like you wrere aiming to please and comfort, but I think you're just being a little cautious while trying to learn about people for what they are. I don't think I've made that very easy, either." He blew smoke above him and twisted a wry smile. "I have to admit, even to a Spider there is some knowledge of what to expect with a Doji maiden, we've all seen clan approved documentaries and dramas about history, and superficially you have fulfilled those expectations in a lot of ways. You're beautiful, thoughtful, kind and courteous. For someone like me who has only had the rarest of moments to experience those things with very few people, it's very inviting. I'm human, after all." He sipped tea and placed the cup down. "Though we've met a few times now, and I know training isn't everything a person is, so I wanted to know more about you and asked silly questions and tested certain boundaries, even asking some very hard things of you, to try and understand you in return."
He chuckled. "As to how I think I've done? I came here with a difficult burden. I have a large estate, several ji-samurai who serve me, a few hundred peasants and farms that expand over a whole region. Anyone who marries me is in for some work. How could I dump all that on some ace of the skies, or hard working entrepreneur, or even a soldier who fiercely wishes to fight for their clan? Sure, marriage isn't really about doing what you want, but I think about how I would feel where I on the receiving end. So as much as I have done my duty to seek a spouse, I had little hope I would be pleased with the outcome." He chuckled. "And then my clan intervened. I was ordered to select someone, and it changed how I looked at it all. I met someone who felt similar to me, and rather than pretend it meant nothing, we both pursued it without care of consequence because regret is far worse than a rumor, and as I'm about to marry, this was really my last chance to follow my heart, even if it was dangerous. So how have I done? I've enjoyed every minute, even the mistakes, because they're part of life and I won't apologize for taking a brief moment before everything is settled."
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