She looked away and Shokomaru held his breath a little, it didn't take long for him to also look away.
"You know, when Utaku-san asked me how I'd attained my rank, I could smell her smug satisfaction, could feel it in my blood like the venom of doubt from a beautiful viper, or i guess the sting of a wasp in this case", he said. "I have a gunso in my company, Daigotsu Hiroshi. The man is a walking boar with iron for bones and boulders for muscle, he kills anything and everything that comes his way, but he'll never get promoted because of me, and he might actually try to kill me one day because of it, no matter how many times I manage to save the lives of my troops, including his, with a solid plan." He shrugged. "Did I want any of this? No one has ever cared, and I doubt anyone ever will. It's all expected, and complaining about it is shame, and weakness, and beneath me."
He ashed his cig and took another drag.
"So if you'd asked me that same question, I think you have a solid grasp of what my answer would be", he smirked, it was derisive. "I love it, it's everything. I have no complaints."
The cigarette burned once more and he ashed in his tray again. "If I stop saying that for just a moment, a lot of lives lost and hate focused for my sake is wasted, it's an unthinkable insult to those beneath me. So we have to act this way, even if we aren't the gods of the battlefield with impossible skill and legendary willpower, so that people beneath us can hate us freely, and wish they were us, while having no idea what it's like."
He put the cig out and sat back, straightening his sleeves again. "Though, what's unique here is we're both in the same situation, and I was hoping that understanding could help a little." he waved a hand. "I don't expect anything to be immediate, mind. The money isn't anything to me, but you being who you are is, that includes your father and his connections; it's a part of the kit that is Daidoji Ishiyo. I'm not sure a lot of other people appreciate that the way I can, but I'll stop there. I've taken it for a bit of a ride at this point."
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_________________ Spider Clan • Bushi • 5th Company Commander • Gentry • Wealthy Honor: Honorless Dog, Status: 4, Glory: 1
Carries: Sidearm, wakizashi, Densai, uniform/leisure or traditional clothes, cigs, fan. Armor, Daisho, Rifle for battle. Description
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